A well-known fact: I’m a trumpet player. To be phoned up and asked to play trumpet in a new show is a happy but unsurprising turn of events. But to be asked to play a part that’s half trumpet and half theremin, and told that I seemed like the obvious person to ask to learn such an instrument, is rather more surprising.

My prior knowledge of the theremin had been, exclusively, the famous video of Clara Rockmore playing The Swan (look it up if you haven’t seen it) and Bill Bailey. From watching these two performers, it’s fairly evident that playing a tune is the hard part. The show is a new arrival from Broadway, a high school techno sci-fi called Be More Chill. In contrast to many shows out there, it has music practically throughout – tons of pop/rock songs with an impressive variety of styles chucked in, including reggae, funk, disco and even dubstep – but the theremin is, naturally, the star of the show. I get to make a load of weird sci-fi noises and play some wailing tunes (both of which, in succession, open the show).

I picked my theremin up from the producer a week before the first rehearsal. Day one consisted of me being so confused that I thought the thing had been wired wrongly. I couldn’t make sense of the manual and ended up texting two physicists and emailing Moog to ask what on Earth was up with my theremin. That was all I managed. Day two, I realised the purpose of the knobs on the side and had to send an embarrassed please-ignore-my-folly email to Moog. The rest of the day was spent on YouTube finding out what to do with my hands. A melody was a long way off.

On the third day, I played a scale...roughly. I had learnt the eight hand positions and could get firmly within a minor third of each note. And seriously, I had vibrato nailed. Day four came with the sudden realisation that this was a two-handed instrument. My left hand had been hovering politely just above the loop antenna, which didn’t make me look much like the experts with their precision hands movements on both sides. The common saying that a violinist’s bow hand is the important one started to hit home.

Day five: staccato and long note shaping – it’s beginning to sound like music! Day six is a regression, when the conscious incompetence kicks in…music, just about, but I have a long way to go. By day seven, I can stumble through what I have to play in the show, just in time for the following day’s rehearsal. I then have a couple of weeks to iron out what I can. Learning a new instrument is an eye opening experience – I now know what it feels like to be a beginner in music. Mind-boggling; but honestly, so much fun.

For as long as I can remember, it has been my main goal in life to wear bright red tails and a top hat on live television.

Ok, maybe it wasn't planned, but I was thrilled when it happened, anyhow. We got the call the night before (as is the case with TV) to appear at the end of Friday's The Last Leg show and play a song that Adam Hills had written. The sticking point was that only the vocal part and a bass line actually existed, so we had a few hours in the afternoon to write the rest of it. Unsurprisingly, that challenge was loads of fun and (perhaps more surprisingly) the producers having something dreadfully vague but sincerely demanding to say after every rendition we put forward was also very enjoyable.

What made this special was how it was so different to what I'm used to doing as a musician. Normally, I'll arrive at a session and there will be a part waiting for me on a music stand or an iPad, written by someone else. Maybe there will be an element of improvisation, and things will probably change a bit with some discussion, but the basic part exists before I get there. Or if I'm playing with a pop artist or band, there will often be a completed song for which we'll devise a part for me or a horn section at a rehearsal. On Friday, however, neither of those scenarios happened. There were the bare, bare bones of a song in existence just a few hours before it was performed, and the whole band had to write all of the music (except that bass line and the chord structure). Some might find that scary, but I find it so exciting – and I love that the industry expects us musicians to do that with no questions asked.

Over the last half decade, I seem to have got myself into a rhythm of trumpeting in a football situation precisely once every five years. For anyone who knows me, this frequency is astounding.

The last time was for an app, through which I may even still be fanfaring my way through some fans’ push notifications each time someone, somewhere, scores a goal. This time around is a more live ordeal, playing on the pitch of West Ham’s London Stadium with Alex Mendham & His Orchestra, the ‘20s and ‘30s jazz band who are my latest endeavour into authentic performance. We’ll be playing West Ham’s adopted anthem I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles, along with a couple of other numbers, before they kick off their match with the Wolves, then again at half-time in the lounge.

We’ve also recorded of I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles to celebrate the song’s 100th anniversary, which is available on iTunes.

For we musicians, who usually play to concert halls and theatres, a 60,000-seater is fairly huge. Until we, undoubtedly, hit the big time and stadiums become our regular hang, this one’s pretty exciting!

Saturday 1 September 2018, 3pm
London Stadium

November this year is ending with something new for me. Although I love to dabble in pop music, my playing it is generally limited to function bands. All this is changing for the end of this month, however, when the young and promising pop artist Lily Atkinson is taking to the stage of the St James Studio for two nights only. Yes, the venue is comfortably close to the musical theatre world which I know and trust, and ok, the MD and reed player I know exclusively from MT circles, but the music itself is firmly RnB.​

It’s an excitingly large affair for such a small stage, with a 6-piece band and 2 dancers to back Lily. We’ve been rehearsing since the beginning of the month, which will hopefully pay off as there promise to be some famous faces in the audience. Lily, on top of her singing and dancing, is a promising young songwriter; most of the numbers in her upcoming show are her own creations.

My time with my old favourite “vintage spy pop” band is sadly coming to a close. Due to their sizing down, next week will be their last gig with a horn section. But even though it is a Goodbye Gig, it’s doubling as an announcement of their new beginning, with two new singles Jungle and Fooling (Jungle including horns specially, just this once).​

George Tavern, Commercial Road
3 November 2016, 9pm

As of 17 August 2013, football lovers nation-wide can download The Sun's new football app 'Sun+ Goals' and watch video clips of the best moments of every Barclays Premier League match.  It also includes half-time and full-time round ups, and notifications for every goal and red card. So what does this have to do with trumpet playing? Well, a rousing symphonic theme tune and some little fanfares is what it's doing here, featuring a stirring trumpet section of Paul Beniston, Paul Archibald and Tom Harrison. The music was recorded in the acclaimed Angel Studios in London, under direction of composer Tony Britten – best known for writing the UEFA Champions League theme tune. This recording session was a great moment for Tom, as it marked an important step in his dream career. A humbling experience also, playing alongside players of enormous calibre such as Paul and Paul, Eric Crees and Richard Watkins, in one of the greatest recording studios in the world.